


Tars Tarkus and Magic Wardrobes

by OtherCat



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: Gen, Mental Health Issues, Old School SF as Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-06-21
Updated: 2004-06-21
Packaged: 2018-09-15 13:22:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9236930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OtherCat/pseuds/OtherCat
Summary: Two sets of memories, one fake, the other real.





	

Two sets of memories, laid one atop the other. The "real" ones being false, and the really freaky ones that in any sane universe would be false, are the real memories.   
  
Scary.  
  
At first, it's amazing to Connor that he isn't crazy. Two conflicting sets of memories should have driven him nuts in short order--but the crazy didn't seem to be happening. It's a little scary at first, and the night mares the other memories give him freak him out, but nothing happens.  
  
Connor starts reading science fiction, the old stuff.

  
Edgar Rice Burroughs, C. L. Moore, Moorcock. A whole bunch of others. The old Connor had never had much of an interest, a disinterest probably placed there by the wizard who'd given him his "well adjusted" memories. Can't let the subject get too many wild ideas, especially when Stephen's strengths and more importantly, _reflexes_ are still there, buried in the back of his head.  
  
It's all heroes and champions,in those books. Stepping through doors and finding yourself to be somewhere else, adventures and cliffhanger, and the complete and utter refusal to use contractions. Reads C. S. Lewis, and the Narnia books, and decides he likes the first two books in the Space Trilogy, but not the third--Merlin is triggery. Let's _not_ identify with not quite sane old men who are in a time not their own.   
  
Please.  
  
The old sf and fantasy books are the closest thing he can find to a parallel to his experience. There can't be many boys (or girls even) wandering around with memories of being both a sociopathic, psychopathic murderer, _and_ a boyscout. There's no therapy program for ordinary seeming kids who have memories of growing up in a hell dimension, being raised to kill their father by their father's enemy--plots like this belong on Barsoom, not Earth.   
  
Connor figures after a while that he hasn't gone around the bend _because_ of how different the two sets of memories are. There's Connor, who had a happy, normal life, and Stephen, who lived in hell most of his.   
  
Connor wants to be ordinary. (Well actually, he wants to be brilliant, smart, and successful.)He doesn't want to be a hero, or a warrior, he just wants to be himself.


End file.
